attention on awareness

Healing happens, generally speaking, as a function of impermanence (the changing nature of existence) coupled with emptiness (the spacious freedom within conditions) as conscious awareness allies with Life (rather than resisting reality while clinging to ignorant views). Note too, that the dharma informs us that “everything is in the field of awareness” and that there is no separation, “not two.”

I have spent most of the past year, 2019, in daily awareness practice with the Living Compassion sangha. This experience has been a leap in my commitment for healing, whereas I have deepened my resolve for and reliance on awareness practice in my life. And this activity, like my personal daily commitment to zazen meditation, has helped me to progress in seeing and releasing conditioned processes that cause suffering due to ignorance. This is a process of waking up. This is a process of developing a conscious skill of turning away from ignorant conditioning and towards Life.

So, after setting the background, I will get back to the subject of the title of this post. It is interesting how a simple conceptual visualization can aid our consciousness in practicing an action of the mind. I was taking a walk on a crisp cool, late fall, sunny day and in a free joyous mind state of awareness, a visualization of a strobe guitar tuner came into mind as a means for understanding how conscious attention can be “tuned” to the ever-present availability of intrinsic awareness. Bam! What a brilliantly useful way to return to the practice of presence in an expedient manner.

Now, using this visualization, consciously place your attention on awareness. It may be a sliver of awareness that seems open to conscious attention, but that’s totally OK, because that’s exactly how tuning a guitar works. Turn the tuners of each string, back a bit, then forward, synchronizing into perfect tune–harmony. The felt-sense of conditioned mind is like the dissonance of being out of tune with reality. It feels really good to tune a guitar, and you still have the option to play gorgeous dissonant chords whenever you want. But, when your guitar is in tune or your mind is in tune with awareness, you are ready to play. Life begins to harmonize within and open up.

Since I have had this unique visualization, I have been even more interested in returning to playing and creating music. It has been easier for me to arrive at and explore playing the bass guitar. It has also been easier for me to use this visualization as a practicable skill for when I notice my mind is lost in conditioning, fraught with frustration and heading into stressful confusion. I have been even more interested in aligning my conscious mind with the nature of the way things are, both inside and out.

This is a process of re-integration–shedding the conditioning through the process of returning to conscious awareness and discovering the natural radiance of Life.

Gassho/Namaste

no transgression

I know there is no transgression beyond the Way things are. Cultural and natural conditions are always inseparable, changing, and inherently empty. Everything we think, feel, and perceive is a projection that mixes with the actuality of existence. We typically name this confluence “reality.”

I’m agitated, anxious, fearful, frustrated, overwhelmed, annoyed, exhausted, and confused by the myriad relative permutations of stories, meanings, views, beliefs that are carried along in the material and immaterial consciousness of humanity. I do not know how to navigate in relation to and existence with all of this “reality.” It’s too much, inane, and irrelevant for me to continue to attempt to take into mindful consideration for making choices of intention, attention, and activity. Though the difficulty I observe I am experiencing is that I am seemingly unable to disconnect from, transform, nor surpass the ubiquitous collective conditional consciousness that causally formed and continues to reinforce the views and beliefs that appear to be non-harmonious with the nature of the Way and hence seem to be causing suffering for me.

I do not have actual answers for what may resolve this situation universally and relatively, wholly. Meditation with right understanding helps relieve suffering temporarily. Mindful concentration in activity also helps relieve suffering temporarily. Believing any particular story also appears to relieve suffering temporarily, but likewise, so does acting towards satiating any particular desire.

Is there any salvation or resolution, or are these concepts of transgression–actually impossible notions of permanence, separation, and meaning? Cause and conditions persist in function which evolve with all else in open moving contingent existence.

It is my current observational belief that self-referential (aka ignorant) attachment to any single or assembled ideas, things, thoughts, feelings, senses, perceptions, desires (aka skandhas et cetera) is the onset of disharmony within the actual nature of existence.

While the Eightfold Path is the Buddhist way of practicing the end of suffering, I do not yet understand this endeavoring and the functional means by which it actually ends suffering. It seems so complicated of an accumulated borrowed consciousness to manage to be a viable means of practicing the daily activity of detachment, flexibility, goodness, attention, and open conscious awareness. Maybe this is precisely why I am so frustrated, because I do not yet see how and what I need to do in my own relative life that fulfills this practice of harmony within the Way.